Come gather 'round people where ever you roam..

tisdag 29 september 2009

Yesterday I felt like shit. I started crying for no reason during my math lesson and I continued crying throughout my Swedish lesson. I couldn't control it so it was quite unpleasant. During the break I went to the welfare office to see if there was anyone there. It wasn't so I went to my mentor and started crying in front of her which was quite embarrassing. Fortunately no one saw (except maybe one or two teachers). She said she would call to the welfare office and ask if there was any chance for me to come to them and talk right away. And I could. Don't know how long I talked to the lady, but I felt lots better afterwards.


I skipped the last lesson and went home and slept. I slept for so long, and woke up around twelve this afternoon and it felt a lot better after that long sleep. My mom said that I should try to use affirmations to see if that can help me to create some self-esteem so that I don't get overlooked and driven over as I feel I get on a daily basis now.

Tomorrow I think I'll go to school. It depends on how I feel. do have another meeting with the welfare office on Monday... Hopefully I won't cry as much then. I cried so much that I felt like I was going to throw up.

But in dreams..

söndag 27 september 2009

So today my very good friend Elsa visited me! We haven't met for over a month so it was really nice to meet her again. We didn't d very much just talked - but that is great too. One thing I'm really hyped about is that she'll be coming with me to the LARP this spring!

One thing that I was irritated about, though, was that when I asked the friend I usually go to the LARPs with if Elsa could stay in our tent with us was that she had invited a person to stay with us without consulting me first. I think that it was very rude, but since I'm really afraid of conflicts I tried to say it in a laughing manner... So now I'm going to try convincing Elsa to built a new tent with me. Hopefully I will get some help from my friend (even though I'm pretty mad at her right now) how to build it. She told me that it wasn't that hard so hopefully I can do it. And hopefully it won't be all that expensive either... She told me that the wood cost about 300 crowns, and I'll have to count on how much the fabric would cost.. But since we are two people it could turn out to be quite cheap. At least I hope so!

But maybe that's good since I've been thinking of building and sewing my own tent for a while now since I feel that I really don't want to go to every LARP with my friend. I would like to go to other LARPs as well without her to make new friends. So if me and Elsa build our own tent I'm going to ask her if she wants to try out another LARP-campaign with me.

Everything will be alright in the end. I'm sure of that.

We also watched some episodes of Hetalia and I'm going to cosplay Hungary some time at some convention. She and her friends have a Scandinavian-group, but Elsa told me that I could join them anyway. Yay~!
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So I've started to re-read one of the best (in my opinion) fanfics out there. It is a Lord of the Rings-fanfic called Lothíriel. It is a tenth walker story but the character isn't Mary Sueish (at least I don't think that she is a Mary Sue). It is REALLY long, and the author is very talented and actually have some knowledge about how Middle-Earth works.. With the different cultures and the languages and what not! It is written by JunoMagic and the story is available at fanfiction.net, and tolkienfanfiction.net (I think.)
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I am really tired and I hope that I'm not going to be sick. My mom is sick right now, and I think I might have caught her cold. It's either that or I'm just hungry. Haven't eaten any real food today.. Just two sandwiches and an orange. Maybe I should eat some more sandwiches... But I'm too lazy to go out to the kitchen and make some.. The dilemma!

My dinner =
1 glass of milk
2 sandwiches
2 fried eggs
1 sausage


Parsley sage rosemary and thyme

lördag 26 september 2009


So me and Johanna have this AWESOME idea. We're going to dress up as Jedi knights as soon as we get our costumes done and then have an awesome battle in town! I think that it is a wonderful idea and I can't wait for the day when I've finished a Jedi outfit to do that. May the force be with me!

So I stayed up really late this morning (half past four) and was woken up six hours later by my mom. It was my turn to take the dog on a walk. It felt like I had a hangover and I probably looked the part too.. I then went inside my room and slept 'til two o'clock... And then I watched Return of the King. It is my absolute favourite movie in the trilogy, but The Two Towers is my favourite book in the trilogy. Peter Jackson and the rest of the people that worked with these

films are geniuses. Sometimes I wish that I lived in New Zealand when the films were shot just to be part of the magic that seemed (when you watched the documentaries). Does anyone know how many Kiwis that were in the movie as extras or like.... canteen personnel and such?

Namárië!

When we said good bye

Okay I'm sitting here and am thinking that I should print out and put up a picture of Waldo and another picture with Find Waldo in my school to see if anyone get it! It would be so great to see a group of people stare at the pictures until they find him. Brain exorcises are good for you!!! And I really hope that people will think it's fun... I'll try to put up random sayings too just to see if someone wrote something on them or if the teachers go around and take them away. Now the trick is to come up with cool and funny sayings. Help anyone?


I have this one idea to put one on a trash can that says Watch out for falling garbage, or something like that.

And why not put one in English classroom 'The English are coming. Hide the tea!'
Or one in the history classroom 'History was sooooo yesterday'
Or one on the computers saying 'Slowpoke!' (school computers are slooooooow)

I'm going to have SO much fun with this! Maybe I can get some people with me so that we can come up with ideas together. It would be jolly good fun! And hopefully I can do it very discreet so that no one sees me when I put them up. It would be awesome to still be quite anonymous, and to silently laugh at everyone else's curious and confused faces.

I've got MANY great ideas from MLIA - awesome site!

www.mylifeisaverage.com

And where he dwelleth none can say..

fredag 25 september 2009

Hi, it's me again!

So today I've been a little nerdy (as always) and watched the LotR-movies again. I've watched them so many times, but I swear that I always find new things and new settings. It is a wonderful series. Right now the beginning of RotK is playing. Saruman's death.

And well.. Let's say that these movies triggered me to begin with my new LARP-dress.. But I do not have any fabric yet .. so I may try to sew it with the fabric from old sheets which we do have at home. I want to know how I can sew it so that it will turn out perfectly in the end with the 'real' fabric. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, I guess!

And I'm also going to sew two more dresses for up-coming LARPs. One I'll modify a bit since it is very long and you need LOTS of fabric to sew it and fabric can be expensive and I can't say that my economics is the best economy in the world. I hope that I can start sewing soon. It would feel so good to be finished before the LARP (in May). I already have a dress to which I will sew an underdress to since I (when I wear it) go around and worry that my underwear is showing... hehe..

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So today it's Friday which means that I must go back to school next week. But I guess that it'll be quite fun. We're going to work with the 19th century. My school combines subject into project so in this project history, idea- and cultural history, Swedish and English will be 'one' so to speak. I just know that we're going to talk about the literature of the 19th century in Swedish class and maybe we'll have to read a novel from that time. I'm thinking of Frankenstein's Monster by Mary Shelley, Jane Eyre of Charlotte Brontë or Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen. I haven't decided yet. I'll ask my Swedish teacher what he thinks.

And I'm going to work a lot with my character for theater class. I would like to make her as believable as I can so that people can feel like she could be someone they know or seen on the subway (which is what the play is about). The title is 'Se upp för avståndet mellan vagn och plattform' which translated means 'Mind the gap'.
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I'm trying to put the lyrics of all the song I have in my iTunes playlist to the song's info. It takes so much time, but it can be quite fun. I've discovered so many errors in what I've sung for a long time. Some were quite embarrassing!

So far all John Barrowman songs, and most musicals have lyrics... And also all my Blackmore's Night and Faun ones. I think next step will be the Loreena McKennitt ones. I have many songs by her. She's a wonderful artist.

This is one of my favourite songs made by her:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2CFM4ev-g8

The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon the cloudy seas
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor
And the highwayman came riding, riding, riding,
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door.

He'd a French cocked hat on his forehead, a bunch of lace at his chin,
A coat of claret velvet, and breeches of brown doe-skin;
They fitted with never a wrinkle; his boots were up to the thigh!
And he rode with a jewelled twinkle,
His pistol butts a-twinkle,
His rapier hilt a-twinkle, under the jewelled sky.

Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark innyard,
And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred;
He whistled a tune to the window, and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Bess the landlord's daughter,
Plaiting a dark red love-knot into her long black hair.

"One kiss, my bonny sweetheart, I'm after a prize tonight,
But I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;
Yet if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day,
Then look for me by the moonlight, watch for me by the moonlight,
I'll come to thee by the moonlight, though hell shall bar the way.

He rose upright in the stirrups; he scarce could reach her hand
But she loosened her hair in the casement! His face burnt like a brand
As the black cascade of the perfume came tumbling over his breast;
And he kissed its waves in the moonlight,
(Oh, sweet waves in the moonlight!)
He tugged at his rein in the moonlight, and galloped away to the west.

He did not come at the dawning; he did not come at noon,
And out of the tawny sunset, before the rise o' the moon,
When the road was a gypsy's ribbon, looping the purple moor,
A red-coat troop came marching, marching, marching
King George's men came marching, up to the old inn-door.

They said no word to the landlord, they drank his ale instead,
But they gagged his daughter and bound her to the foot of her narrow bed;
Two of them knelt at the casement, with muskets at their side!
there was death at every window, hell at one dark window;
For Bess could see, through the casement,
The road that he would ride.

They had tied her up to attention, with many a sniggering jest;
They had bound a musket beside her, with the barrel beneath her breast!
"now keep good watch!" And they kissed her.
She heard the dead man say
"Look for me by the moonlight, watch for me by the moonlight
I'll come to thee by the moonlight, though hell shall bar the way!"

She twisted her hands behind her, but all the knots held good!
She writhed her hands till her fingers were wet with sweat or blood!
They stretched and strained in the darkness and the hours crawled by like years!
Till, now, on the stroke of midnight, cold, on the stroke of midnight,
The tip of one finger touched it! The trigger at least was hers!

Tlot-tlot! Had they heard it? The horses hoofs ring clear
Tlot-tlot, in the distance! Were they deaf that they did not hear?
Down the ribbon of moonlight, over the brow of the hill,
The highwayman came riding, riding, riding!
The red-coats looked to their priming!
She stood up straight and still!

Tlot in the frosty silence! Tlot, in the echoing night!
Nearer he came and nearer! Her face was like a light!
Her eyes grew wide for a moment! She drew one last deep breath,
Then her finger moved in the moonlight, her musket shattered the moonlight,
Shattered her breast in the moonlight and warned him with her death.

He turned; he spurred to the west; he did not know she stood
bowed, with her head o'er the musket, drenched with her own red blood!
Not till the dawn he heard it; his face grew grey to hear
How Bess, the landlord's daughter, the landlord's black-eyed daughter,
Had watched for her love in the moonlight, and died in the darkness there.

And back, he spurred like a madman, shrieking a curse to the sky
With the white road smoking behind him and his rapier brandished high!
Blood-red were the spurs in the golden noon; wine-red was his velvet coat,
when they shot him down on the highway, down like a dog on the highway,
And he lay in his blood on the highway, with the bunch of lace at his throat.

Still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees,
When the moon is a ghostly galleon, tossed upon the cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding, riding, riding,
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn-door.


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Namárië

I know it's today

torsdag 24 september 2009

Now I know that it was like... years ago (or months...) I last updated, but I didn't really felt like blogging.. My life isn't so interesting after all! But since I do have a lot on my mind right now I 'm going to pick it up again. Now I know that my life might be boring as hell (like the average person's life!), but then do not bother reading (not that I really believe that anyone will read my blog (with exceptions) since it will mostly be nonsense). I'll write about things that concerns me, and thing that I like. I may upload pictures of my current projects (currently none...). Enjoy!


I haven't had any school this week which have been absolutely fantastic since I've been really tired since I returned home from the LARP two weeks ago. I can't say that I had the greatest time there actually. The friend I went with (and shared tent with) turned out to be a totally different person. I swear that I did not recognize her at all... It was quite scary. And I also felt like she preferred the people we met there than me. Well, I might not be the most interesting person out there but she could have tried to handle it better.

Of course I don't want her to only be with me. It doesn't work like that. And I mean it also is my own fault. I'm quite shy and insecure with new people and I always seem to be either uninterested or stupid... but I'm not. I'm just scared that they will think me to be uninterested or stupid which, I guess, mirrors in my attitude...

And the fact that I also was on period during the time didn't make my LARP any better. But since my friend and her new friends mostly stayed in camp and was off-LARP I decided to walk around alone quite a lot which was refreshing. I met so many new people around the place, and I hope that I've polished my acting as my character 'til the LARP in spring so that people can feel that I was good and maybe remember me. That would be awesome!

I will, in a few weeks, e-mail the head-organizer of the Eleria (the name of the campaign) LARP to see which rules there are of making my role to a magician. My purpose to make my character Svala (means swallow (the bird)) a magician is that she wants to protect those close to her and her forest (she is a dryad). I heard from a friend that the magician rules had changed, but I want to know if that's true. And if it isn't I really want to know how I should do. I really want to develop my character.

And she's also going to get an Elvish name since so many do mistake her for being a elf. I've settled for Tuilinn (which means swallow in Elvish), so that she can pose for being an elf if that can help her to gain something from it. This LARP it was a disadvantage for her to be mistaken for an elf since the orcs made a promise to kill all elfs. But since I'm sneaky and quite good at melting into the shadows I wasn't killed. Yay for me!

Something that was quite annoying was that there was this druid that somehow got the thought that everyone on the LARP was after me and my friend (who was my sister in-LARP) and had made it his personal duty to keep me safe. My friend managed to get away and sent him after me and then he followed my every step for six hours.. And he had absolutely no sense of where my personal bubble was. Uh.. Not good.

Some things that I did which I think was really fun was that I went to both human villages (Navle and Stendal) and was let into both. In Navle (which is the bigger one) everyone who saw me though I was a wood elf (you know, like Legolas :D).

Random man: Oh, look, a wood elf. Hey, do you have any cider?
Me: Sorry no..
RM: Always so tight, those elfs..

Guardsman 1: What?! An elf?! Here?!
Guardsman 2: The alliance... the alliance..
GM 1: Oh, right!

It was so funny!!
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So this week I've been visited by my very dear friend Johanna and we've watched lots of Torchwood (watch it if you haven't already!), and even tried to make a timeline over the Doctor Who/Torchwood/Sarah Jane Adventures.. which I do NOT recommend at all. It get really confusing... And when we tried to make out WHEN Ianto Jones got his job at Torchwood 3 we've got stuck since the air dates don't make any since. According to the air dates Ianto worked for Torchwood 1 in London in June (or July) 2006, but according to us he must've started working for Torchwood 3 in January 2006. You see! It doesn't work out.

We are such nerds. Love it? Hate it? I love it!

We also met up with a girl that we both know who was in town because she were going to watch a musical here in Stockholm. We'd a quite nice time. It was a little cold - but I guess that it just showed that fall is here. I love fall. I think it is a fantastic season. Fall and spring are my favorite seasons!

One scary thing that happened was that we've quite sure we saw a ghost. We were out with my dog quite late. I live close to a park and we were going through the park. First we met a cat.. or rather we get surprised by a cat (and very jumpy after that). We didn't see it first, we heard it when it hissed at my dog but since he has been living with a cat for years he couldn't care less so he ignored the cat. The cat then preceded to follow us since, I guess, it got interested in my dog since he didn't are about it. We've looked behind at it a few times but then it disappeared and that second we both see this big shadows flying over us. Since we both had met a cat earlier that we called the Lucius cat we thought the cat might be a Deatheater..

We were so jumpy that we run home.
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In school (I study drama) we play this play which is written for us. I play this girl Holly who is going with her two friends Henrietta and Jasmina to fuck in a suburban area in Stockholm called Rissne.

It's a really fun role to characterize since she's so not me. And I think I do a pretty good work as well. I've got lots of compliments from my teachers on how I play her (even though we're just in the beginning of the work) which I think is fantastic. And I really wanted that part so that make me want to play as good as I can too. I rock. I feel like I own the stage (I'm an aspiring diva... or maybe not), and okay ... a little egocentric but I do feel like I play a little bit better than others in my class.. I don't say it out loud but it might show in how I act on stage! Amazing!

At my drama class at spare time I really hope that we'll play the Three Penny Opera since I do not know anything of it and it seems to be a fun play to play. And my teacher Lena said that we were going to do something dramatical.. I really hope to play TPO!!! Oklahoma! would be nice too. I played that play for like... five years ago and I played the character Jud. If Oklahoma is the play we're going to play I hope for playing Laury or Ado Annie... But since I'm the oldest girl in the group I might've been given the role of the old lady (forgot her name.. I suck). Yeah... Hm..
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What did we learn today:
Allan Hyde is effing HAWT!!!!!

 
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